i have such a busy schedule. i may have to cut out “studying” to make room for “crying over tv shows” and “4 hour nap”
my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’
don’t let me go outside at midnight because I’ll suddenly get very excited and want to go on an all-night adventure
|me:||wow i have so much work to do|
|me:||*goes on tumblr*|
|me:||*watches a movie*|
|me:||*reads a novel*|
|me:||*takes a nap*|
|me:||*climbs a mountain*|
|me:||*backpacks through europe*|
|me:||why am i not getting anything done|
fun fact: if a persons body odor smells good to you that means they have an immune system basically opposite of yours! this happens so the chances of finding a mate with the opposite immune system is greater and the chances that any offspring you produce together will have a stronger immune system is greater.
this is fascinating
You not finding me attractive is not going to stop me from being attractive.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU KEEP THIS MINDSET YOU WILL GET SOOO MUCH CONFIDENCE
today a guy confirmed that at boy sleepovers they do in fact talk about girls and who they like a good majority of the time i just thought this would be useful information
Why does this have so many notes? What did you think we do at sleepovers? Meth? Animal sacrifice?
Well thats what girls do
- i find it pretty fucking inconsiderate that my grandchildren haven’t used time travel to visit me.
- and frankly, i’m a bit offended.
- AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU GRANDCHILDREN?
- WELL FUCK YOU
- MAYBE I WON’T EVEN HAVE KIDS AND YOU WON’T EXIST
- HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT
what if we have tho
what if we just didn’t know they were our grandkids
what if your best friend has to constantly remind themselves not to call you grandma/grandpa
this is the best thing I’ve seen
I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”
I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe
I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS
this is why you cant say that nicki is not a feminist
I’m sorry, but if lesbians can control themselves in a girls only changing room with ass naked woman waltzing around, then I figure men should be able to control themselves with clothed girls walking down the street. Just a thought.
I got to “Dad” and had to scroll down and reblog for a break because I laughed so hard I nearly threw up twice.
"Killing her seems a bit harsh"